Moving On
by amelexie
Summary: An AU fic set years later when Mark and Lexie bump into each other in New York, which brings Mark to reminisce on how they used to be.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first songfic and I wanted to do the whole song but this is really just my first try at it so let me know if you guys like it!**

 **By the way it's Moving On by Kodaline.**

—

 _I met you on the corner of the street_

 _I smiled before I even heard you speak_

 _I can accept we're growing older but_

 _I guess that's just the way it has to be_

You were walking down the streets of New York, on your way back home, when you passed by a familiar face, sitting outside an Italian restaurant _._ Somehow, you kept eye contact for a few seconds, trying to make sure you weren't just seeing things, until you decided she was real. You came into a complete stop and gave her a warm smile.

She looked more beautiful now, it seems the years were good to her. Her features were sharper, more well-defined. Her brown eyes were warm, with a few lines just peeking on their sides, but still beautiful. You suddenly remember how right you were when you first swore to her that she had the most beautiful brown eyes you have ever seen in your entire life.

She stood up and smiled widely as she hugs you _,_ and you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding in.

—

 _It's funny how you still remembered me_

 _I heard you settled down and that you married happily_

 _Do you remember when I told you that I loved you to the bottom of the sea?_

 _I know it's over but I guess that's just the way it has to be_

She has been taking care of you all day.

She skipped work, went out to buy you chicken noodle soup, ran to the pharmacy to buy you your medicine and even cuddled up with you when you were cold (despite your insistent no's). Now you're tucked in bed, your fever not going down anytime soon. You could tell, because you just saw a goat on the foot of the bed, and there's no way a goat could be on the foot of the bed.

You could feel the mattress sink down beside you as she climbs in. She feels your forehead for a few seconds and finally moves closer to you, tangling her limbs to yours. You tell her you don't want to get her sick. She tells you to shut up.

You smile, the first genuine one you've had since the damned flu took you down. "Lexie. I love you so fucking much."

You could almost swear you saw her smile.

—

 _Sometime in the future maybe we can get together_

 _Maybe share a drink and talk a while_

 _And reminisce about the days when we were still together_

 _Maybe someday further down the line_

 _And I will meet you there_

You watch her as she's sitting on the bench in the residents' lounge, staring at the floor.

You had a big argument three days ago and you could see how it took a toll on her. She left before things could get worse, so you assumed she's been staying at Meredith's.

"I miss you." You blurt out of nowhere, not being able to stop yourself and she looks up at you with sad eyes. Your heart breaks a little. You mentally punish yourself for doing this to her.

She stands up slowly and moves closer to you. She looks at you for a while before leaning in to kiss you. You respond, and pull her closer, because you really _did_ miss her and you just want to comfort her.

She pulls away, blushing, and you felt yourself _s_ mile when she asks, "Can I come home?"

—

 _Sometime in the future we can share our stories_

 _When we won't care_

 _About all of our mistakes, our failures, and our glories_

 _But until that day comes along, I'll keep on moving on_

You stare at her long after she's pulled away from the hug, attempting to memorize the features of her face you've long forgotten... not really.

You still have a box of old photos of the two of you hidden in a locked drawer in your room. But she doesn't need to know that.

"So, I heard you and Avery got hitched." You say, surprised your tone was even. "You did great, Lex."

She smiles a little too widely for your liking, avoiding your eyes. She doesn't know you had to spit that last part out. "Yeah. I uh, I did. I'm— I'm happy."

You nod, afraid she'll say any more. You are happy she is happy, because for years now, when your mind wonders to her, that is what you see. A smiling, happy Lexie. It's what she always deserved.

And you, you probably deserve to be happy too. But you've given up on that five years ago, when you've lost the love of your life. You're staring at her now, and you think, _you did good too._

You gave her a chance to be happy. Genuinely happy. But as you realize the way you still watch her do her little habits, and the way your insides suddenly feel alive when she gives you a friendly smile, it is then that you know — _you'll never move on._


	2. Chapter 2

**I know this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I couldn't help but do a reimagining of it from Lexie's point of view. So here it is!**

—

 _It's funny how but it still bothers me_

 _I know it's been so long but I did not expect to see_

 _How beautiful you are_

 _I guess that all that time apart has done you well_

You've seen him even from when he was a block away. Five years. Five years since you have last seen him, and all of a sudden, he's here, walking by the restaurant you're sitting in, and looking at you.

He stopped in his tracks, and you didn't know what else to do, so you get up and hug him. Warm. Comfortable.

You catch a whiff of his perfume _,_ still the same one he uses from years ago, the same one you used to spray around the apartment so you don't feel alone when he is off in a conference for an entire weekend.

You pull away first, and he looks at you. Not briefly, but really looks. You look down and mentally tell the little butterflies (which you notice are only really around when he is) in your stomach to stop.

—

 _But hey, I wish you all the best and maybe someday we might even meet again_

You were lying on the bed in the only on-call room in this floor, when you hear the door open, and he walks in.

You turn your head slowly to look at him and you apologize for throwing a baseball on his girlfriend's boob.

He sits on the foot of the bed you're in, looking at you and asks why you did it. The tone of his voice suggests that he wasn't accusing, he was just asking. You don't know what to say. So you both just look at each other in silence.

After a while, he speaks again and tells you he's trying. And you knew what he meant. _I told you I'll let you go, and I'm trying._ So you nod.

You want nothing more than to pull him into your arms and make things go back to the way it was, but you know it's impossible. You want different things. So you watch him walk away from you again and you turn to face the wall before letting silent tears release themselves hoping they would someday be enough to wash you clean.

—

 _Sometime in the future maybe we can get together_

 _Maybe share a drink and talk a while_

 _And reminisce about the days when we were still together_

 _Maybe someday further down the line_

 _And I will meet you there_

The first time he tells you he loves you was unexpected, and it knocked the wind right out of you.

You spot him standing in the nurses' station, writing in his patient's chart _,_ and you stand next to him, putting a cup of hot bone-dry cappuccino right next to the chart he's working on.

You went out of your way to get it from his favorite coffee shop two blocks away while he was in surgery. You remember him talking animatedly about this case for weeks, and how excited he was to have a medical breakthrough right on the palm of his hands.

He smiles and acknowledges your presence, bumping his hip with yours playfully. _The surgery must've gone well._ He closes the chart and takes a sip of his coffee before watching you do some charting.

He just stares at you for almost an entire minute, until he says it, out of nowhere. "I love you."

You drop your pen, startled, and he kisses your cheek before you watch him walk away, with the biggest fucking smile on his face.

—

 _Sometime in the future we can share our stories_

 _When we won't care_

 _About all of our mistakes our failures and our glories_

 _But until that day comes along_

 _I'll keep on moving on_

You never really acknowledged the fact that he was the love of your life. Not until five years ago when you were crying in front of Meredith and Derek and they keep referring to him as that.

He asks you about your marriage and you try to smile, your widest, and tell him you're happy. He nods slowly and breaks eye contact.

You don't tell him you miss him. You don't tell him you still think about him from time to time, and it all gets too much, you cry sometimes. You don't tell him that your heart constricts everytime anyone brings him up.

You don't tell him that you are still in the same place where he left you five years ago — trying to move on from him.


End file.
